Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Day One: Royal Oak

After a long long boring drive from Chicago, Albert and I finally made it to Detroit. Royal Oak specifically. Not a bad little town.
Reminds us of little five points in ATL or Oak Park outside of Chicago. We checked into corporate housing (which is kick-ass because we can save money) and then we hit the streets. First bar - BLACK FINN - http://blackfinnroyaloak.com

It's a bit of a weird mix of people, but mostly yuppies. By the way, yuppies suck ass! I stood for at least a half hour before getting a seat but i did enjoy the couple glasses of Jack Daniels while waiting. Finally two seats opened up and the environment suddenly changed. Ugly girls became hot, fat girls became skinny. And the dudes - were just dudes. We ordered food and flirted with the female bartenders (who were hot as hell). I ordered three more JACK DANIELS, A PRIME RIB WITH THE BONE IN with ROSEMARY MASHED POTATOES and Albert ordered a CEASAR SALAD. Our friggin bill was $42.00. ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDIN ME? In Chicago that woulda easily been over a hundred bucks. Oh yeah, the ENTIRE menu is half off on Mondays and they have tv's at all the booths. Nice.

We give BLACK FINN OF ROYAL OAK: 3 out of 5 "Aubrey" heads for strong drinks and 2 out of 5 heads for fly girlies.

3 out 5 "Albert" heads for delicious yums and 3 out of 5 heads for atmosphere.

So after eating I decided I wanted to go to a booty club (strip club). Albert didn't want to go. After a short drive from Royal Oak I landed at a place called ALL STARS - http://detroit.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/bar/all-stars-detroit/346540/content
From the outside it looks sophisticated. Fancy cars line the street and parking lot, but as soon as you get to the door there's a rude awakening. There were women everywhere. The ratio was crazy. This bar isn't for the faint of heart. It smells like cognac, cigarettes and sweaty thighs. All in a good way. I suggest if you visit this place be prepared to spend some dollars. This strip club is the ONLY one i've ever been to where guys were friggin tipping with $100 bills. And it wasn't raining in this club. It was typhooning.
So after three double jacks and about $80 spent, it was time to go. But i dreamt of some of those girls all night. It's a great time if you're black like me, mexican like albert or white like matt berger.

We give ALL STARS on 8 Mile:
5 out of 5 Aubrey heads for strong drinks and 5 out of 5 heads for jiggly parts.
0 out of 5 Albert heads for food (don't suggest you eat in this club) and a 3 out of 5 for atmosphere and bling.

1 comment:

  1. White like Matt Berger...made me laugh out loud. I miss you guys! Glad you are enjoying it. Maybe I'll come visit sometime. xoxo